What keeps us from demonstrating Empathy as leaders?
What keeps us from demonstrating Empathy as leaders?
I asked this question in a workshop the other day and heard a common answer.
"Not enough time."
Checking in with your team can be like opening a can of worms. When things need to get done, it seems like the best thing to do is to put our feelings aside.
But unexpressed thoughts and feelings can hold teams back. When people don't feel heard, trust erodes. With limited trust comes limited commitment, accountability, and ultimately inconsistent results.
So, when things are moving fast, how does a leader continue to develop their Empathy?
Here's something to keep in mind - Empathy does not require a long conversation about feelings.
In a nutshell, Empathy requires three things:
Being curious about emotions
Connecting to the emotion
Demonstrating care
Being curious is about being attuned to the emotional cues of others and checking in. This can be done in the moment but it's also important, especially when things are busy, to use 1:1's for a regular check-in. Building a check-in into your 1:1s can keep situations from escalating into something that does require a longer conversation. If you're unsure how to build it in, begin your next 1:1 with a simple "What's on your mind?" It’s great way to open it up.
Connecting to the emotion is about hearing what the other person is feeling and connecting to that same emotion in yourself. Even if you don't relate to the exact situation they are experiencing, you can relate to emotions like disappointment, nervousness, overwhelm, ect. Try to remember a time when you were feeling that same emotion. You don't have to share your memory with them, it's enough to simply remember what it was like to be in their shoes.
Demonstrating care can sound like, "I hear that you're overwhelmed. I've been there. What can I do to help?" Or you could offer something more specific like, "What can I take off your plate?" or "Could someone else on the team lead the upcoming client meeting so you can focus on this deliverable?" The point is to go beyond just relating to the emotion and actually demonstrate that you heard them and that you care.
These regular moments of Empathy don’t take a lot of time and they go a long way towards building trust which is the foundation of any effective team. Try this out in your next 1:1 and notice the impact it has. Let us know how it goes!