What Are the Signs of a Leader Lacking Emotional Intelligence?

In today’s workplaces, emotional intelligence (EQ) isn’t a bonus skill—it’s a leadership essential. Yet many organizations still struggle with leaders who show clear signs of low EQ. And the impact? Lower engagement and teams that operate with broken trust.

Building emotional intelligence is about personal growth and shaping a leadership culture that supports high performance and resilience. So how do you spot a leader who may need support in this area?

Here are some of the most common signs of a leader lacking emotional intelligence:

1. They Struggle to Handle Feedback

Leaders with low EQ often become defensive or dismissive when receiving feedback. Rather than seeing it as a growth opportunity, they take it personally or avoid it altogether.

EQ skill gap: Emotional self-awareness, reality testing

2. They React Instead of Respond

Whether it's a tough email, a missed deadline, or a difficult team dynamic, emotionally unaware leaders tend to act on impulse. Their reactions might be abrupt, passive-aggressive, or overly emotional, leaving others to manage the fallout.

EQ skill gap: Impulse control, stress tolerance

3. They Lack Empathy

If a leader seems disconnected from how others are feeling, or fails to consider people’s perspectives, they may be missing the empathy that builds trust and psychological safety. Over time, this creates disengaged teams and high turnover.

EQ skill gap: Empathy, interpersonal relationships

4. They Avoid Difficult Conversations

Leaders without emotional intelligence often delay or avoid necessary conversations. This could be giving performance feedback or addressing conflict on the team. This avoidance sends the message that discomfort trumps accountability.

EQ skill gap: Assertiveness, emotional expression

5. They Don’t Recognize Their Own Triggers

Self-awareness is the foundation of EQ. Leaders who lack it often miss how their tone, body language, or mood affect others. They may unintentionally create tension or confusion especially in high-pressure moments.

EQ skill gap: Emotional self-awareness, self-regard

6. They Struggle to Build Trust

When a leader’s words and actions don’t align, trust erodes. Low-EQ leaders may struggle with transparency or vulnerability. All of which are crucial to building credibility and strong working relationships.

EQ skill gap: Authenticity, interpersonal relationships

7. They Don’t Manage Stress Well, Theirs or Others’

A leader low in EQ may become visibly overwhelmed under pressure, creating stress contagion across the team. They might unintentionally downplay others’ stress or push for results without acknowledging the emotional toll. This often leads to disengagement or quiet quitting.

EQ skill gap: Stress tolerance, empathy, emotional expression

8. Their Decision-Making Is Delayed or Erratic

Emotionally reactive leaders often struggle to make clear, timely decisions. They might overthink simple issues, avoid committing to a direction, or swing between extremes. This creates confusion and uncertainty for their teams.

EQ skill gap: Problem-solving, reality testing, impulse control

What Can You Do About It?

The good news is emotional intelligence can be developed. With the right assessments, training, and coaching, leaders can build their self-awareness and strengthen the relationships that drive team performance.

If you’re noticing these signs in your workplace, now might be the time to take a closer look at how EQ is being supported and developed across your leadership team.